October Repost

Wow…It’s October folks!!

Where did the year go?

Ha. Isn’t this about the time every year that people begin asking that annoying question?

I always feel compelled to reply to that question with the following answer:

I don’t know, maybe it went right up your ass, moron.

I know…I should calm myself. Anyhoo…October is a month full of Holidays and incredibly important observances.

Of course, there is Halloween.

I think this year, i need the girl from yesterdays post (the one i get the goverment to help me get, really folks you need to read my blogs to keep up with the ramblings) to wear a High School Cheerleader’s outfit with her stomach stuffed with a pillow, while I will have on a wig, breast implants, and a lobotomy scar.

Happy Halloween all, it’s Bristol and Sarah Palin!!

Columbus Day will be observed on Monday, October 13th this year…

A day when we honor Christopher Columbus for discovering an existing civilization that was fully aware of their own existence.

To honor this achievement, I will, on the night of the 12th, give myself the clap, and eat a meal of red beans and rice.

When I awake on the 13th , I will wipe away my Morning Drip with a map of the Dominican Republic, and wipe my ass clean of the red beans and rice with a map of Haiti. Very moving, no?

There are some other less well-known, but actual observances taking place this month as well.

If you love to read books about Tuberculosis, Beriberi, or Syphilis, give thanks because it is National Medical Librarians Month.

If you have ever hooked up jumper cables to your car and ended up with a face full of Elephant-Man inducing acid, it means you have probably never observed, Auto Battery Safety Month!!

John McCain is probably on cloud nine for next thirty-one days because October is also, Dinosaur Month.

I plan on getting together with my friend richard soon, and doing something sexually with him that will stand the test of time, in honor of Lesbian, Gay, and Bi-Sexual History Month!! (just kidding, i dont swing that way but hey..it got your attention!) actualy, if any lesbians are reading this, can i watch?

In addition to that excitement, I am on top of the world. Why? October is also, Sarcasm Awareness Month. Why in the Hell was I born in January!?

October, as many of you know, is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

If you haven’t bothered ladies, get them boobies checked out. We need ya here, and healthy.

Rob will be happy to provide free breast exams all month, so just send me a message saying you need it done and i will be there for you, nothing is as important to me as keeping you healthy and copping a feel at the same time

Until then… be sure to SUBSCRIBE to my blog and tell your friends….ya never know what the hell i might say…do you want to miss it?

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